multiple resignations from same organization
Have a perplexing question here.... I had been on the board of a certain
nonprofit and my relationship with some of the board members had not been good
-- at times abusive. I resigned but was convinced by the president to come
back on the board because the president liked me and thought of me as a
valuable player, but could not do anything to change the bad situation. I
came back on that board but stayed only 6 more months because I was unable to
tolerate that abusive behavior from some of the others. I felt it was best at
that time for me to separate from that board, at least for a while, as no one
was willing to take action to stop the abusive behavior.
I have been told by this same president that because I resigned twice, I have
given up all chances of ever rejoining that board in the future. I have no
idea if any note to this effect was placed in the organization's files or if
this statement from the president is to be taken seriously. No one will let me
see the organization's records or reassure me one way or the other. I am
concerned because I care very much about the organization and hope some day I
can rejoin the board again when the internal problems get straightened out.
Did I really cut myself off permanently from that board by resigning twice?
Have any of you had any experience with this kind of thing?
There is no law on the books, to my knowledge, that says you can't resign
multiple times and still rejoin the same organization at a later date,
multiple times. *** NOT A LAWYER *** NOT LEGAL ADVICE ***
That being said, the present situation suggests that you should focus on
some new horizons. The water has been muddied.
You have not specified the manner of the abusive behavior that you endured.
It's not necessary that you share that information. Suffice it to say that
some people stand up to abuse better than others. What has happened in this
case is that the abusive behavior worked. You're out and the abuser is still
there.
What you can learn from this is a lesson in politics. That is to simply let
abusers do their thing and do your best to ignore them. Work to cement
relationships with others and the abusive folks, eventually, will begin to
look bad in the eyes of the reasonable people who usually make up the
majority.
There's another lesson, that nasty people often get ahead because the nice
people can't figure out how to stand their ground without becoming, also,
nasty. The proper strategy is to use questions and paraphrases relentlessly
to compel the nasty folks to back up what they're saying, provide evidence,
and otherwise be held accountable for their words in terms of the "reasons"
they are expressing through their nastiness. This all takes time and skill.
Sometimes the training is hard to find, but it is invaluable. It falls under
the umbrella of "nonconfrontation strategies," which is confronting with
skill so that only the nasty person comes through as confrontational.
We are suffering from a lack of effective, quality management in our
nation, and in much of the world. Even at the top of very large
organizations, we have folks who are mainly out for themselves and view the
people in the organizations like just so many characters in a video game.
Look at Enron, as just on example, and the mutual fund debacle; and more are
popping up every day. So we have been developing a culture that seems to
provide greater reward for self-centered, acquisitive dominators who feel
that aggressively defeating the competition, both inside the office and in
the marketplace, is the key to success. Some people are brought up to be
socially abusive, starting when they are children.
Turn it over and there are any number of very effective leaders who do
wonderful things with their organizations. Orfalea of kinko's and Choinnard
(sic?) of Patagonia are two. Hewlett and Packard in their heyday, and so on.
So there are examples of great organizational leadership.
My advice is to seek a new organization where you find yourself drawn to
the positive leadership of the board. Seek a place where your contribution
will be appreciated.