don't know what Ohio law is regarding having a written living will.
We got a call from the nursing home today. My FIL's kidneys have
completely stopped functioning. The home said he could stay there, sign a
DNR form and essentially wait to die, OR go back to the hospital, where they
might try dialysis which could jump start the kidneys - though rarely does
this work. Ironically, the night before he said to his eldest daughter he
wanted to die in the hospital, not the home. So he is back in the hospital.
At this time, because he is 78 they are not going to immediately put him on
dialysis. Doc says he is not an "emergency" dialysis case. This I don't
understand, if his kidneys are not outputting at all despite of the volume
going in via IV wouldn't that be emergency? Is it because of his age? I
have heard dialysis is very, very tough...might he not survive that?
I am more convinced than ever that he has given up. He has verbally made
his wishes known to all his children that he does not to be kept alive on
machines, be it ventilators or feeding tubes, and I assume, after a dialysis
treatment, dialysis. So that leaves what? He does NOT have a living will,
but all his children know his wishes and if he lapses into a coma or somehow
becomes incoherent are they legally able to make care decisions for him,
since they have witnessed his verbal choices? I have been urging a living
will to my husband and my FIL for 15 years. They refuse to talk about it.
Too morbid - but I can see problems. They don't understand that it is not a
will about money, rather a right to die with dignity or keep on living
though it is artificial life (in a sense), not kept alive by a bunch of
machines. I don't know what Ohio law is regarding having a written living
will.
Also, if any of the above didn't make any sense,
blame it on stress. Tomorrow my new granddaughter will be born
(my DIL is being induced in the AM) so 3 year old brother will have,
eventually, a sibling to play with. They are currently living with her
parents, having sold their small starter home and their new home doesn't
close until December. Probably a good thing, with her mother around my DIL
can get some rest and help with the baby. Since they live 5 minutes a way
we can also baby- who dearly loves his "pa-pa". But even he
asks about "grand pa-pa" often.
Death is so hard on those left behind. But I believe peace and eternal
happiness are there on the other side who have made peace with their inner
spiritual being.
-My thoughts are with you. As you say, this is a tough time for everyone left
behind. It sounds like he is ready for his journey so that should provide
some comfort. I think that is helpful to think about but I know there is a
lot of pain, it can't